18:02, spring cleaning
Monday, 3 September 2018
i have spent the last two or three years continually falling off and clambering back on a wagon i wasn't ready to travel on. this month i will be picking myself back up and working towards getting better, for me and for the people who love me.
also because now i have terrifying deadlines and i need to meet them lol some things really don't change.
ANYWAY
a few substantial changes in my life since the last update! i adopted me a fur baby ( οΈΆα΄οΈΆ ) i'm now a graduate, after what feels like forever trailing behind all my peers π full employability is still a struggle, but i am now being paid to live on campus (Β΄α΄`) only time will tell if this was a good decision, but for now i shall learn to be content.
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
a treacherous august
β 01/08 β singapore-style dine in??? the spicy fish was not authentic but it was good
β 05/08 β my first time co-ordinating an open day! damn you construction *shakes fist*
β 07/08 β fried chicken tuesdate β‘
β 09/08 β πΈπ¬ i always get very homesick & each year only gets worse, but i still always stream the parade
β 10/08 β the last time i had hair this short it was a neat decade ago :o
β 14/08 β i was a resfest judge!!!!
βββ
i remember a time when i called myself moonface ( β―οΈ΅β° ) how times change.
β 15/08 β can i call myself a qualified mentor yet?
β 17/08 β you keep me grounded and i am so grateful to start & end my days with you β‘
β 22/08 β a very emotionally draining day for people who are not paid enough to deal with this nonsense
β 26/08 β needed a break, so i got my nails done for the first time since april
β 29/08 β midnight in the netherlands (huehuehue)
thank you for welcoming me with open arms (ΰΉΒ΄α΄`ΰΉ)
and my two amazing mentors for their guidance and support β‘
β 31/08 β date night @ our favourite late-night pancake shop β‘ with surprise friend!
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
one of my residents shared a post on facebook the other day that i won't link here, but it left a profound impact on me. to the extent that we share all our triumphs and joy, the secret heroes are the ones who do not broadcast their happiness. perhaps it was another tiresome SOCIAL MEDIA IS BAD ADN U SHLD FEEL BAD post but.... i can't stop thinking about it. on a rare good day, i love to see people obnoxiously cute and living their best life, achieving all the milestones i too am working towards. but these days so few and far between, and i haven't been truly, freely happy for a while, and i am running myself so thin.
i think the days of blogging as in journalling are over, and we are witnessing the paradigm shift into instant photo sharing and snaps. i must be honest to myself: this is a trend i tried and failed to follow. but i am stubborn, so i will return to my niche and find peace in the little things.
i have not written words from my heart in such an achingly long time that i find i am, in a sense, no longer fluent in the language i sought comfort and pride in.
this is what illness steals from you. time, memory, a skill. in just two years i have forgotten how writing has always centred me and carried me through some of the darkest times in my life. i will never understand how and why i let this happen, but this is a month of promises and recovery.
september spring
β 04/09 β gotta love dine-ins and free food βοΈ
β 06/09 β baby step 1, i got dis. also my health check-up shows i've got hereditary risk for high cholesterol :o
β 07/09 β THE FIRST FOOT IN THE DOOR.
if you're lonely, a little rain suddenly turns heavy
but a whole lot of love can make the clouds go away.
24.
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