Every beat of my heart ;

22:38, Macaronner I

Tuesday, 7 January 2014

hello, again.

Has it really been 8 months since my last real update??? I bet y'all thought y'all'd seen the last of me after I failed to follow up by July, but tadaaaaaaah! here I am!!! I do think the lack of updates is a very stark reflection of laziness + just how much socialising I've not been doing, har-dee-har

If I'm completely honest, 2013 was a very blah year. For me, at least! I could (& probably should) do a bite summing up the year, and maybe I will, but most likely I won't, bec I like hijacking posts. HAHA I keed, I keed; someone remind me before I lose my mojo again v_v

I must admit, though, it's pretty disconsolate to see such a large blank space between then and now. I remember a time when I updated a few times a week?? Those were the days when I would be genuinely upset about all the drafts on my dash, & lament them foreverrrrrrrrrr but thOSE YEARS ARE GONE (◡_◡) and I would go back to finish them, only I can't rmbr a great deal anymore. and also I cannot be bothered haha at least pictures are easy.

Last thing— it's really the seventeenth today! I am always very honest with my edit timestamps bec I obviously have no shame. I DON'T CARE (ノ Д \ ) my readership is at rock bottom and down here where it's cosy there is nobody to judge me!

/edit; 17/01/

0301frd ❤

ATTEMPT 1 at macarons today and my god these fuckers are a challenge, here's our score
macarons 1 pmz 0 cindy 0
although if I want to be thick-skinned I would award us maybe ⅓ bec even if we were lacking in the aesthetics and texture department they still tasted pretty okay!

But first let me direct you to the most dead-end job to ever dead-end:

SIFTING ALMOND FLOUR *ominous lightning & thunderclap*

That's superfine almond meal/ flour, and more than a coincidental handful of recipes called for multiple sifting!! Say whaaaaaat!!? ain't nobody got time for that. I think pushing 250gm of that stuff through a fine-mesh sieve already took me the better part of an hour, or more accurately one-third of my life *solemnly swears* but that could be bec we didn't pulse it through a processor. Or was our sieve too fine...? *squints*

In any case I thought it was very unnecessary but hmm looks like it's the beginning of my setting myself up to to eat my words..!

Cindy: But like what's the point??!

Indeed.

LOOKIT MAH FACE THE DESPERATION
I never ever ever want to sift almond flour again! Ever...!!!

And while I was slowly crushing my soul with a spoon through a wire mesh into a steel mixing bowl Cindy & Toon were busy whipping egg whites for the meringue! I LOVE whipping whites bec I'm absolutely fascinated by the way they aerate and billow and lose their sallow yellowish tinge and become so pretty. But it's also such a very tough job bec you have to get the consistency just so, and I dare say I don't think we did x_x more on that later, see their masterpiece:

Isn't it pretty :>

Except here's what I don't get, and I promise I will fill in these with links later,

some recipes (like here, & here) call for firm but advise against stiff peaks (??),
but then again
still others (also here) direct you to whip up Everest—

I mean yes there are many ways to bake a cake but ??? make up your mind??? The only thing all these recipes have in common is that they agree the macaronner (that is, meringue + flour) must be perfect for good macarons, so how can they all disagree on the firmness of the most vital component?!

And since when were firm and stiff peaks not the same??!?

burrrrrrrr. moving on.

Piping~

Piping is really harder than it looks! Of course after a while you do get the hang of it, and then it becomes quite fun, but all that hunching over— NO THANKS. Some satisfaction when the batter comes out in gorgeous shapes, and if the colour is good, then it's very pretty! But mine were just really... (# ¬_¬) unappetising. Good thing the photos don't really reflect it. And I promise I'm trying really hard not to be self-effacing here...! It's just fact.

Also I had a very terrible start to the whole piping shenanigan. Exhibit A:

It really bothers me!!! like omg

aND YOU CAN STILL SEE IT HERE *pterodactyl screech* Cindy Ong...!!!!!

But haha I guess it serves me right for being such a lousy.

Then we had to let our piped batter rest for 1-2 hours or however long it takes until they form a skin! Again some recipes differ on whether batter requires resting time, though it seems an overwhelming majority swears by it. Resting time also depends largely on humidity, which isn't exactly favourable in Singapore...... so try as we might our batter refused to develop skins and they were never touch-dry before we sent them into the oven!! Not even after sitting for nearly 4 hours *raaaaaage* and perhaps that was why none of our macs grew feet. For that I am still distraught bec macs are not macs without feetsies (◡_◡)

Meanwhile we made our fillings! I'd originally thought of an Earl Grey mac, but absentmindedly forgot to bring teabags along when I left the house *ayyyyyyy*. So plain chocolate ganache it is...! instead of schmancy tea-infused ganache, what a pity. Whereas Cindy kept it simple and made salted caramel.

Does it look guuuuud? *_*

Both concoctions smelt pretty awesome, if I say so myself! ヽ(⌒▿⌒ )ノ and I do say so myself, bec this isn't my first time making ganache, and despite the fact that I really am not a fan of caramel D: have never been, and never will be, probably. I may be all the poorer for it, say what you want, but I have a lot of unpopular opinions when it comes to food ☹

I spy a little elf

<digress>
This reminds me of a joke I heard off here:

What do you call Santa's little helpers

Subordinate clauses

IT IS VERY FUNNY I WILL FIGHT YOU ON THIS

53 terrible jokes on youtube! If you love puns, and I don't see why you shouldn't, it's 4 minutes worth and very facepalmy. My favorite kind (´ᴗ`-)❀
</digress>

We sent our little army into battle in small batches— what were we thinking really??? Each tray came out defeated v_v so we both got our hearts crushed like three times each. Not one non-macaron had optimal rise, and def no feetsies *brb sobbing forever* we were lucky they still scored in taste, silver lining indeed!

BY THE WAY. I think this deserves a mention: supportive relatives kee chiu!!! The two of us (or maybe just me) were so dejected over our obvious failures but everyone believed in us anyway (๑´ᴗ`๑) and ate our creations very enthusiastically (´ᴗ`-) and very tactfully did not mention the cookies' abysmal appearance. SO MUCH LOVE LAH you all win ♡♡♡

I must learn not to take failures personally (￣^￣)ゝ

though errrrr these things are very easy to say and very difficult to uphold in the face of such tragedy:

A minute of silence for the fallen (◡_◡)

I didn't bother with taking victory pictures of my not-macarons bec they were ugly as balls, and you just don't take photographs of unphotogenic things because why? But Cindy is not me, and maybe I should have swallowed my pride bec you must always learn from your mistakes, but too late...!! ours looked alike anyway D;

Success!! but most definitely not macarons.

Despite the pain I think I will definitely try my hand at macarons again! now that I sort of know where I went wrong..... I'll learn from my mistakes! *fingers crossed* and that also unfortunately means absolutely no more chocolate, managed to OD and am now seriously averse to all forms except beverage.

--------------

Failures call for commiseration!

I firmly believe it is human nature to want to uncover solutions for mishaps, and by extension seeking comparisons. When my first batch of non-macs came out feetless I went on a Google rampage to figure out why, but instead of being a good girl and concentrating on troubleshooting tips I found this gem of a post to obsess over:
runningtothekitchen: making macarons
THIS WOMAN. SHE IS HILARIOUS. ANOTHER!

I thought I was funny but so is she!!! What's better is that for most of her problems, I can also relate, so I feel some sort of kindred spirit bec she's not had a success story in the post. And I don't think you understand what a big deal that is! I mean so many other posts start off I FAILED then miraculously I DID IT and I'm just -_----- I don't caaaaaare.

Her photog is also very good. Good photog always helps!

She does this little summary of what she did in attempt number what and then a photojournal of the results, and they're all very entertaining.

I piped them out, stuck ‘em in the oven and was confident those little feet would appear and I’d have conquered the art of macaron making.

Except, that didn’t happen.

I got good “puffage” except not even a freakin’ toe, let alone feet.

I cAN'T BREATHE omg but I feel you girl. I really do. My macs looked like that! Except bigger, and not round. Oh well. Que sera sera.

I feel like misery loves company has never felt more accurate hahaha. The goal has always been self-improvement anyway! of that I am very aware ( ◡‿◡♡) so I will conquer you macarons! Till next time..!!

Under a trillion stars, we danced on top of cars,
They made me think of you.