Every beat of my heart ;

23:03, Here comes the sun

Friday, 29 March 2013

✿ happy easter weekend! ❀✿
♡(￣▽￣)ﾉ♡♡

mid-sem break is here!!!!!! it always coincides w the long easter weekend, which means that this year it's actually uh one-third-sem-break D; but much needed, what with all that's happened in the past four weeks. i know even my double degree coursework is really peanuts compared to my dolls in sg, but well everybody's fighting a different battle ,_,

---------------+++---------------

i've NEVER felt so stressed out in uni since i started, and i must say a lot of it comes from pressure i'm inflicting on myself. there're so many things pressing on my mind — expenses, expectations — that so often i find myself collapsing under the weight of it all every night. to have lecturers telling us to prepare to fail for the first time ever right off the bat on the FIRST lecture ever is really.....

i'm not sure if i'm supposed to be motivated to fall into the top 30-40% to who the Ds and HDs go, or to feel apprehensive that i may well have to settle for credits? much of this stems from the fact that although i've attended good schools, i've never achieved stellar results since age 12, and to suddenly be thrust headfirst into an environment seething with high achievers and expected to outplay them all is daunting on a level i've never imagined.

but enough of that!!! more importantly this assignment has been EATING at me ever since the first day, cos it came with 5-page instructions and so many ominous warnings e.g. it is advised that you observe court before semester starts — excuse me??! maybe my fault for not checking my unit pages but ugh how not to panic when you see advisories like that?? thank goodness i'm nifty with allocate+ & managed to score myself off-days i can set aside for court visits D;

so yesterday i went down to the commonwealth law buildings AGAIN (´д｀) to be honest, i had lots of fair warnings that one trip wouldn't be enough, but it was also suggested that the magistrate's court would be a good choice since cases go through them like *snap*...? AND I GLEANED NOTHINGGGGGG, and even compromised my choice topic, how infuriating. when you consider my traveling time clocking upwards of 50 minutes each way, plus transport upwards of $10 return, every trip has so much at stake!

this time i thought to trust my instincts and went to the family law courts, which was my initial choice anyway. don't know why i never learn my lessons; always always listen to my heart!!! no matter what other people say ,_, and got some really good material after 5 hours of sitting in different court proceedings *celebrates* you have NO IDEA how relieved i was when i left the building, and how enlightened; seriously, actual court is NOTHING like the dramas or the jodi picoult books >;c but in any case i got so many childish thrills from barristers who interrupted with I object!!! (’-’*)

also finally, very grudgingly acknowledged and officially recognized my need to assemble corporate wear >_> was presentable enough i hope! at least i would fit in on a dress-down friday.... :\ and you all discouraging bats stop saying i'm just digging excuses to go shopping....!!!! because now the hunt for the ever-elusive perfect black covered pumps resumes & more urgently than ever (￣^￣)ゝ

anyway left court at 4 or thereabouts, and to reward myself for 7-hour clacking in casual-corporate complete with 6cm red snakeskins (one of my FAVORITE pairs of shoes!! A$30 from rubi, and most remarkably bought on a whim *v*) i decided to get myself macarons :)

sweet treats to round off a productive day! & to finally quash those irritating cravings (*´v`-)♡

VERY dainty shop hidden at the end of a double row of italian bistros in one of melbourne's foodie hotspots :> there isn't even a sign boasting its name! but i've heard good things about it — apparently its macarons are one of the best in the city. even with my über sweet tooth i still find some macarons too sweet, so what i really love about these is that they're big & intense on flavor yet aren't cloying!!!! MAD PROPS!

please excuse my lousy instagram; stole this pic off their website and check out what it looks like inside!!!

DO YOU LOVE?

look them up at la belle miette, and my favorite is the mariage freres earl grey chocolate, even though everyone knows i'm not a tea person ( ◡‿◡♡)

---------------+++---------------

in other news,
i am moving.

not the blog, but out of my current lodging into a self-contained studio apartment!!!! FINALLY, i can escape this toxic environment by the end of week after next *yessur* (￣へ￣) i've been going through a hell of burgeoning and ever-increasing emotional turmoil over tenancy disputes over the past couple weeks, NO THANKS to crippled bureaucracy and a total failure of higher-ups to see what the true issue is. i've never had much faith in other people when it comes to dealing with issues i take up arms with, and for good reason; i'm still highly upset over this matter, because i know very clearly that i am NOT AT FAULT, but being punished anyway.

some things make me so angry — it's so difficult being the bigger & better person, and it's so difficult trying to do good by people who don't seem to appreciate what you've been doing, or even bother to consider your concerns, because they're so wrapped up in their own; or even stop to pick up on the little cracks in your demeanor. like seriously?! *still upset*

WELL, it's all over now and i can't wait to settle in my new place! :) of course now expenses will be shooting straight up, cue weekly budget debates ~_~ but can i not think about such depressing issues until tuesday..... #escapist ☜☜☜ gotta face this perennial demon one day, and can you just see my dilemma right there?! D;

now to take this weekend off!!! just tuning out all that needs to be done because nothing will be open, and all my research is sitting pretty on dusty shelves in a maze of a building ten minutes away anyway ;x and i've also rediscovered the joy that is plants vs zombies, PLEASE SOMEBODY STOP ME D; have advanced to the roof levels but cannot get past damn dr zomboss? the level is SO LONG and what's with that giant fire- / ice-ball that smashes all my pots and melon-pults >;c

i want to hide the truth, i want to shelter you,
but with the beast inside, there's nowhere we can hide.